Oh, Those Israelites

Occasionally, (ok, sometimes more than occasionally) when I read the story of the Israelites and their journey from Egypt to the Promised Land I stop and think to myself, "Oh, those Israelites. How quick they were to forget and how quick to doubt."

Most recently I had this thought in my mind last week when I read Numbers chapters 13 and 14 for my daily devotions. These chapters tell the story of how God told Moses to send spies into the land of Canaan to determine whether or not the people of the land were strong and whether or not the land was good to live in. At the end of Numbers 13 the general gist of the spies' report is that the land is very good and the people are very strong. The spies even go so far as to say of the people of the land, "... we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them." Numbers 13:33, ESV.

And then... here it comes-- Numbers chapter 14 begins with those faithless Israelites wailing and grumbling against Moses and against God (again).

"And all the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The whole congregation said to them, 'Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! Why is the LORD bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become a prey. Would it not be better for us to go back to Egypt?' And they said to one another, 'Let us choose a leader and go back to Egypt.'" Numbers 14:2-4, ESV

The options that they set out for themselves still baffle my mind a little bit. Essentially those doubting Israelites say that they wish: 1) That they had died in Egypt, 2) That they had died in the wilderness, or 3) That they were slaves in Egypt again. So, to recap-- death, death, or slavery. Nowhere in that list of options is God at all present.

Then we hear God's response to the Israelites' despair.

"And the LORD said to Moses, 'How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?'" Numbers 14:11, ESV

Ouch. As I read that, I could almost feel the hurt in God's questions. He loves the Israelites, protects them, provides for them, and desires to do good to them. And their response? Distrust. Doubt. Oh, those Israelites. How could they so quickly forget the miraculous things God had done to bring them to that present point? How could they so easily doubt His power and His desire to give them good gifts?

After I finished reading these chapters, I began to pray to God to finish out my morning devotional time. One thing that I've been praying a lot about recently involves mine and Timothy's future. We hope to relocate sometime this summer and have been looking at many options. And it has been stressing me a lot. So, I was praying and asking God to help Timothy and me to find good jobs that we would enjoy and that would help us to provide for ourselves and pay off our debts. As I prayed, I could feel myself getting more and more anxious. I found myself listening to all the doubts and fears in my mind instead of feeling the calm release that should have resulted from my prayers to the God of the Universe, who loves me, provides for me, and desires to do good for me.

I stopped myself mid-prayer. Ouch. Oh, faithless, doubting Kristin. How my distrust and doubt in God's ability to lead and guide in mine and Timothy's lives must pain Him. How could I so quickly forget how God has led me to where I am today? How could I doubt Him? I have very clearly seen His orchestration of my life and path in the past, even up to this very present moment. He has always provided for me and led me before; why should the future be any different?

Oh, those Israelites. How well I identify with them so often. May God continue to be as patient and long-suffering with me as He ever was with them.

Repeat

For those of you who have followed my blog for a long time... This post is a repeat (albeit, an edited repeat). Except this time it does get its own post. Last time I tacked it onto the end of another post. So, I apologize for the redundancy, but this thought is one I come to every time I read in Genesis and Exodus. And I love it.

I was reading Exodus 2 yesterday, and I read the last verse (25) in that chapter: 


"God saw the people of Israel-- and God knew."

It seems almost an incomplete thought, to just say that "God knew." But I think that's all that needed to be said. God saw their affliction, their trials, and He intimately knew what they were going through. And His heart reached out to them. That is why in the very next chapter, God tells Moses to go back to Egypt to lead His people into a better place.

That phrase, "God saw... and God knew," always reminds me of another story in Genesis that I love as well. It's the story of Hagar.

If Abraham and Sarah had gone by God's plans, the whole situation with Hagar and Ishmael would never have happened. 

But it did happen. 

However, just because it wasn't in God's plan doesn't mean that He forsook His own. Even though Hagar and Ishmael were not part of God's plan, He still had compassion on them.

In Genesis 16, Hagar is fleeing from Sarai because she just can't take the harshness and abuse anymore. As she's crying in the wilderness, God comes to her. He comforts her and speaks to her. He tells her to name her son Ishmael, which means "God hears." And when He's done, Hagar calls God's name, "You are a God of seeing," and she names the place "the well of the Living One who sees me." (Genesis 16:6-14, ESV)

Fast forward to Genesis 21. Hagar is once again in the wilderness-- this time because Sarah has sent her packing (and God okayed it). Hagar is once again crying, at the end of her rope, and believes that she and her child have been completely forsaken by everyone. As she's crying, Ishmael is praying. In verse 17 it says, "And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is." God hears. Ironic, because that's what Ishmael's name means. Despite the fact that God allowed Hagar and Ishmael to be in this wilderness of despair, God reminds Hagar in her darkest hour that He still hears. He still sees her. And He will take care of her. (Genesis 21:8-20, ESV)

Never forget this. God sees you. He hears you. And He knows. He knows better than anyone what you're going through. And He will take care of you.

Bon Courage, Take Heart

I love when God gives us simple reminders that He is present and involved in our daily lives. About a week ago I was having my personal devotion time in the morning and I felt impressed to pray for someone from work; she had been asking for prayers because one of her very young sons was recently diagnosed with a very rare syndrome that will affect his life and theirs forever. I had been praying for her on and off whenever I remembered, but that morning, not only did I feel impressed to pray for her, but I also felt like God put a verse in my mind for her and gave me specific things to pray for her. 

When I finished my prayer time the thought crossed my mind that I should share the verse with her. I went back and forth with myself in my mind as to whether or not I would actually share it with her. Eventually I caved to my initial thought and sent her a quick message letting her know that I was praying for her and that God would be with her every step of the unknown journey before her. I shared with her the promise and challenge of Joshua 1:9-- "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go" (ESV). 

I love that verse. God tells Joshua multiple times in the conversation surrounding that verse not to fear. And as I let the thought simmer in my mind that morning, I saw the beauty of the promise in the verse. 

Have I not commanded you?

"In every command and in every promise of the word of God is the power, the very life of God, by which the command may be fulfilled and the promise realized" (Christ's Object Lessons, page 38).

"Whatever is to be done at His command may be accomplished in His strength. All His biddings are enablings" (Christ's Object Lessons, page 333).

God never gives to us a command that He does not also give to us the power to perform. 

It is such a refreshing thought to me that I can be strong, courageous, and unafraid of what the future might hold, not because I am a strong person, but because my God is a strong God, and He has promised to be with me wherever I go. In my weakness, God is my strength. In my fear, God is my courage.

Be of good courage, take heart; for God holds you in His hands, and He will never let you go no matter what the past, present, or future hold.

Catching Up

It's been a while. And that's an understatement. Let me catch you up on a few of the details I have not blogged about in the past year or so (although, many of you know about much of what I'm about to write).

Major Events:
December 24, 2011: Began dating Timothy (who had actually put on his Christmas wish list "A girlfriend")!

Christmas Eve, 2011

New Year's Eve Weekend 2011: Took a trip with two of my brothers and my sister-in-law to West Virginia for my first ever experience snowboarding! After several hours of much progress, I proceeded to take a nasty fall and seriously injured my right elbow. (Almost 2 years later, it's still not quite healed, although it's much better)

March 2012: Went backpacking for 5 days, 4 nights in the Grand Canyon! That was seriously one of the most intense, exhilarating, amazing, and wearisome things I have ever done in my life. Definitely an experience that brought me closer to God and made me realize just how small one can feel. In addition to the trip being amazing, it was done with people who are very dear to my heart- some of my favorites :)

Yuma Point

Grand Canyon View

Colorado River

April 2012: Went rock climbing for the first time ever. It was... alright. Ok, so it was better than I expected. I've never had any desire to rock climb, and quite honestly, it frightens me. A lot. But I almost even enjoyed myself when I was doing it.

August 2012: Vacationed with some of Timothy's family in the Outerbanks, NC. Super fun! We went to Jockey's Ridge State Park and played on the dunes, hung out at the beach, ate amazing food, and just enjoyed good times with wonderful people.

September 2012: Timothy's newest niece was born! Sweet little Meraiah Valerie :)

November 2012: Best birthday present ever-- Timothy proposed to me! We went hiking on Benton Mountain, had a picnic, watched the sunset, and he asked me to be his wife! After I said yes, we sat in a hammock under trees with Christmas lights in them on top of the mountain.

View from Benton Mountain

Sunset on a very happy Sabbath birthday

Engagement ring that Timothy made

March 2013: One of the sweetest and dearest people I've known was laid to rest. This world lost a ray of God's sunshine, but she is not lost forever. I can't wait to see her again when Jesus comes to wake her from her peaceful, pain-free rest.

May 2013: Timothy graduated with his BSN! And on May 26, 2013 I married my best friend! We also re-realized how incredibly blessed we are with our incredible families and friends. We couldn't have asked for better ones to celebrate our marriage with us.

Summer 2013: We attended what seemed like a myriad of weddings-- and each one was uniquely characteristic of the couples getting married. I love how weddings are a kind of snapshot of people's personalities and characters. Also, went to some states I'd never seen before! It was my first time visiting Washington state, Oregon, and Louisiana.

Allie & Jonathon's Wedding (July 2013)

First time on Mt. Rainier, WA

Multnomah Falls, OR

Multnomah Falls

Ricky & Larissa's Wedding (August 2013)

Friends!

Kaeli & Nathan's Wedding (September 2013)

My favorite set of twins :)

August 2013: Timothy's family had a reunion and we went camping in Hungry Mother State Park! I've always wanted to go there, and I loved it! We also visited Mount Rogers and saw the wild horses (Adorable! And fat!), and we biked down the Virginia Creeper Trail with Timothy's entire immediate family! That was probably the highlight of the trip for me, and I hope to do it again sometime soon.

I wanted to take this one home!

So, those were the highlights. This morning as I was laying on the couch having my devotional time, I was thanking God for so many blessings and wondering how it is that I so often wish and dream of things past or future. I love reminiscing about the past, and I believe it is important for our growth to remember the blessings, and the hurts, of the past. I also believe that it is a good thing to plan and dream for the future. But right now, this day, I am asking God to help me learn to soak up all the goodness of the present moment because there is so much of it. I am incredibly blessed in so many ways, and once again I am praying for God to help me see and love and live in the present-- to appreciate and enjoy every bit of it to the fullest of my ability.

Caitlin's Memorial Service

For those who weren't able to come, and for those who have not yet seen where to find this video, this is the complete video of Caitlin Meharry's Memorial Service that was held on March 30, 2013. I hope you are as blessed as I was to see and hear this.