Sometimes I wish I weren't such an optimist. Here's a general scenario, a short vignette of what most often happens:
I have two options- be optimistically hopeful about an outcome, or be groundedly pessimistic. I choose to hope, no matter what the odds. My optimism is dashed against the rocks and hope disappoints.
Sometimes, I've tried desperately not to be optimistic. On occasion, I will try to be reasonable and tell myself, "Kristin, it's not likely. Don't get your hopes up because the chances are slim to none." But all the while I'm lecturing myself in my head, deep down, I can't help myself. I hope.
As far as I know, optimism is stereotypically seen in a good light-- the lighthearted, happy, effervescent twin-- while pessimism is cast out as the gloomy, dull, sober, bad twin. I'm beginning to differ from my previous conceptions of optimism and pessimism. I think both have a time and a place. And I'm really beginning to wonder if optimism is all it's built up to be.
That's not to say that I should never be optimistic. But I guess at the moment I'm just burnt out on hope. I'm tired of being ever hopeful just to be let down. It seems the more I hope, the harder I have to fall back down to reality. I have more thoughts on this particular subject, but I think for now my reflections will stay mine alone.
Having said all that, I do know with certainty that there is one area in which I can ever be the optimist without fear of disappointment. And for that I am incredibly grateful.
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. . . And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. . . And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." ~Romans 5:1-5
"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus. . . Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." ~Hebrews 10:19,23