Umm Odd...

So I have a propensity toward awful/scary/weird dreams. I don't know what it is, but I tend to have nightmares somewhat frequently. Sometimes they wake me up, and I'm grateful for that. Last night I had one such terrifying dream that awakened me at some odd hour of the morning. Thankfully I fell back asleep rather quickly.

However, the night was not finished. My next dream of the night was odd on many different levels. First, I think I had handmaids. Second, I was locked in a room, being held hostage by none other than my soon-to-be husband. Apparently I was engaged to him, but I didn't want to be, and with good reason; I mean, after all, he had locked me in this basement room so I couldn't escape and would have to marry him. Somehow, my grandparents managed to get into this room to free me. So I hurriedly began packing my things so that I could flee the certain doom of marriage to this cruel man. But then whilst throwing my clothes into a duffel bag, I had a small thought: Maybe I don't want to leave. Yeah. Perhaps I really ought to stay. And marry him.

I left my grandparents in the room, walked down the hallway to another small room in which, incidentally, my fiancé was sitting. He looked upset, but not angry. He knew I was going to run away, but he wasn't planning to try to stop me (odd seeing as he's the one who locked me up in the first place). I walked over to him and told him, "I think I want to stay here with you." He replied that he would like that very much (apparently my talent for screenwriting is non-existent, even in my dreams). And that was that. I woke up.

I know. Beyond odd. Where does this stuff come from? I just hope this isn't in any way a foreshadowing of things to come, that it's just a strange, strange nonsensical dream. I also hope I haven't bored you with this if you're still reading; I hope you've laughed at least once while reading this so that it wasn't a complete waste of your time.

I think tonight I'll pray for sweet dreams...

Unethical Dilemma

Today in class I was confronted with a question. It was a question that I immediately knew the answer to, but after some class discussion of the issue, I began to second guess myself. Since then, I have given it some thought and have come to a final conclusion of my opinion. However, I would love to have a conversation with several of my friends about it to hear more opinions, but due to lack of time and overlapping schedules, I have decided to post the issue here and hope for some thoughtful comments.

In Research class, we learned briefly about several cases of unethical research that have been conducted, namely, the Nazi experiments on Jewish prisoners, the Tuskegee study, Willowbrook studies, and the Jewish Chronic Disease Hospital study (scroll down to find this one). A question was then asked of the class: Do you think that the research done in these and other unethical studies should be published and utilized?

So that's my question to you. Should the results be published and utilized, or discarded unused because of the unethical means of obtainment? Would not publishing the results be a waste of those individuals' suffering and mistreatment, or would publication add insult to injury in taking lightly their mistreatment for the benefit of others?

Sabbath Blessings

These are my Sabbath scrubs. I'm trying to find ways to remember the Sabbath day even on the days that I'm required to work. This is just one of the things that I decided would be a good reminder. I chose these scrubs because the colors are soothing, calming colors-- which is good for both me and my patients. Plus they have hearts on them and say things like faith, hope, and love. I think they're my favorites.

Thankfully, soon I'll be off of orientation and likely won't have to work as many Sabbath hours. But for now God has been blessing and hopefully using me as a blessing. My first two days of work were both great overall, and I'm looking forward to more of the same: challenges and growth.

Mysteries

What is it about mysteries that is so compelling? I love mysteries. I'm not talking about Nancy Drew. I mean real mysteries, ones that don't have a definite answer but spark all kinds of theories of possibilities. Like what happened to Amelia Earhart? Or Anastasia Romanov? What really happened to the Lindbergh baby?

I have no explanation for why these and other mysteries capture my attention. They just do. For some reason the unexplainable just begs to be explored and calls to something deep within, imploring me to search it out.

Generally, I don't have the time to indulge in reading literature on theories exposing what may have happened. However, there's a greater mystery than such inconsequential puzzles as these that is begging to be searched out and known. A mystery that may not be fully understood on earth and possibly never will be completely explained.

That their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:2,3, NASB

By common confession, great is the mystery of godliness:
He who was revealed in the flesh,
Was vindicated in the Spirit,
Seen by angels,
Proclaimed among the nations,
Believed on in the world,
Taken up in glory.
1 Timothy 3:16, NASB

"This is the mystery into which angels desire to look. They desire to know how Christ could live and work in a fallen world, how He could mingle with sinful humanity. It was a mystery to them that He who hated sin with intense hatred felt the most tender, compassionate sympathy for the beings that committed sin" (ST Jan. 20, 1898).

It may ever remain a mystery to me how God could love such a flawed, failing, and faithless creature as myself. And yet I am determined to explore it. Because to know this, to come closer to understanding this mystery, is to know God in all His love.

Jabez's Prayer and Mine

*Verses in italics taken from 1 Chronicles 4:9,10

I've not studied the prayer of Jabez much before, but it intrigues me. It seems slightly random in the midst of a long genealogy, which implies to me that it must have great significance, important enough to interrupt what was being written.

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.'

God has many names. Maybe this isn't significant, but I find it interesting that Jabez cried out to the God of Israel. Not the Lord Almighty, but God of Israel. Jabez made it personal; he cried out to the God of his heritage, the God who made a covenant with his ancestor, Israel.

I like his request also. He asks for God's blessing, for life abundant, but what's more is that he solicits God's presence-- Let your hand be with me.

But the most interesting part to me is Jabez's last petition-- and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain. The reason this means so much has to do with Jabez's name. Jabez is very similar to the Hebrew word for pain.

His mother had named him Jabez, saying, 'I gave birth to him in pain.'

Jabez's plea is to be free from pain, free from his born identity. In this request, I see Jabez's desire to be free from his past and his destined future from birth. Though his mother named him pain, Jabez wants a new name, a new future.

I, too, was born with an inherited name: Sinner. And like Jabez, I can cry out to the God of Israel, the God who made a covenant to redeem sinners and place enmity between sin and His children. I can entreat God to bless me with life abundant, to grace me with His presence, and to grant me freedom from sin.

And God granted [Jabez's] request.

"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it." ~Revelation 2:17