The world has lost a beautiful soul and a bright light for Christ. I went to Kirsten Wolcott's memorial service tonight and finally allowed what happened to sink in.
I didn't know her, but I wish I had. Every description given of Kirsten gave the impression of a young woman just bursting with life and love. She loved the outdoors, she was active, she was kind, cheerful, spontaneous, and full of adventure. I know that at memorial services, we tend to focus only on the positive, but I truly got the impression that Kirsten was a wholehearted servant of God who loved life and loved others.
As I sat there, I asked the question that everyone must have asked when they first heard the news. "God, why her?" But I asked for a different reason.
I didn't ask God why because Kirsten was a good person and awful things shouldn't happen to God's servants. I asked because it seemed like a strategically bad move to me on God's part in this great controversy. And I know deep down that God sees the beginning and the end; He has the whole picture already, and He knows best. But I couldn't help but think it for one reason. Because I asked God, "why not me?"
As I listened to the word pictures of who Kirsten was, I couldn't help but think that she had so much to offer the world. And the thought crossed my mind that her life sounds like a much better testimony of God than I feel that my life currently is. And so I thought, "God, why not me?"
But I realized that God has a plan in this mess, and I'm still here while Kirsten is resting from this sin-sick world. And it was at that point that I made a decision. It's a decision I've made before to be sure, so I suppose it was more of a re-commitment.
I want to be a light. I want my life to make a difference to every individual God places in my path. I want to be cheerful, uplifting, and vibrant for God. I want to make the most of this life that God has given me. Because I'm still here, and that must mean that God still has big plans for my life.
In honor of Kirsten, in honor of Kaleb, in honor of all God's beloved children laid to rest, I want to be truly alive in Christ.