Friday, November 9

Lengthy Absence

It has indeed been a long time since I last blogged... In fact, I wonder how long it will take for people to realize that this blog is here, seeing as they have probably given up hope that I will ever blog again. In any case, this will be a short blog because it is currently late at night and I want to get some rest while I can this weekend. Next week promises to be one of the worst schedule-wise.
I just spent much of this evening looking at my friends' blogs and catching up on their lives. It made me kind of sad. As I read through the blogs, I began to realize how very long it has been since I have had a meaningful conversation with many of those people; I began to see how much of their lives I have been missing, and it made me miss them even more. The sad part is that I go to school with a great majority of the people whose blogs I read, and I could theoretically see and talk to each of them. But life has become too busy.

That last sentence was said with some bitterness, which I thought must be supplied because it's difficult to read tone in sentences like those. What am I busying myself with? I suppose the things that I have been filling my life with are important. I mean, I do need to do my homework, I do need to exercise, and eat occasionally. They are all things that must be done, but I think I've done a particularly awful job this semester of being a friend. I have drifted away from so many people and have begun to realize how very lonely I've been because I've been so busy with "life" that I haven't had time to talk to people or to enjoy time spent with them. How on earth did I allow this to happen? And what kind of a life have I been living without the people I care about so much?
It makes me think about another friend that I have often neglected. So often, it's easy for me to say a quick prayer, telling God that I will have to talk to him in more detail later in the day. So often, I find myself wishing that I had more time that I could spend with God; it seems like I never have as much as I would like. And though I have my morning devotional time with God, I find myself wishing that I could spend more time praying and more time reading the Bible. This past summer was an incredible growing experience for me in my walk with God, and I've noticed lately that I've been missing the quality of the friendship that I shared with God this summer. I find myself missing God, similar to the way that I find myself missing my friends. And all because I've become to busy with "life." But honestly, what kind of life have I been living without that close bond with the God that I love so much?
And this is the question that I leave myself, and each of you, to ponder as I head to bed. What kind of life are we living if we are living without the One who is love? It's not that I'm living my life without God, and maybe you aren't either. But I haven't been living my life as closely connected to my God as I wish to, and I think it's time for some renewed connections. Relationships and friends mean so much to me, so much to humans, because that is the way that God designed us to be. And I think it's time I start truly living a life worth living- one that's full of friends and my God.


Alex said...

WOW! she's still alive (and therefore could, in theory, still care about us). I know exactly what you are saying, I never get enough spiritual food in my life during the week, and although I drink it in on Friday night and Sabbath, it does not make up for my lack of study/prayer during the week. Besides that, I am drowning in my schoolwork and have long since given up trying to spend time with friends this semester...Keep in mind that struggle is an obvious sign of life.

Johonn said...

Well, the post was not short, but neither was it lacking in pertinent thoughts. I think most of us suffer some degree of your affliction... College life seems to do that to a person, especially as one gets closer and closer to that elusive graduation date. Well Kristen, I will gladly say a jolly "Hello" and "How are You?" next time I see you, and hopefully make up for some of the absences of friendly discourse in your life! :)

Kristin said...

Thanks Jonathan :) It will make my day... Seriously. There are two of my friends that I see every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday on the Promenade and each time I see them they both give me large hugs, and it seriously brightens my day, even if my day had been horrible up to that point. So, I will look forward to your jolly greetings :D

Christy said...

you just give me a "prome-nodd" :(

Little Christen said...

Yeah, Kristin. I've really missed having meaningful talks with you too. Complaining about crazy quizzes and tests is easy enough to do anytime. ;) But to tell you the truth, whether or not we're overly busy is in our sphere of control, whether we like it or not. :( (P.S. Nope, I wouldn't have known you'd updated this if you hadn't told me. I gave up about a month ago...but then again, mine's not updated either.)