So far, I think this is my favorite that I've written this semester. But I have another favorite that's still in my head and may soon displace this one if I ever write it. Anyway, I'd like to hear your thoughts and comments, and perhaps I'll explain my point if people don't get this.
He Loves Me
Melodies crescendo out my window--
Birds call me from my peaceful sleep.
Sunshine cheer wakes from orange shades deep
And glows on dewdrops below.
He loves me.
I wake and rise-- unseeing, not hearing--
And hurry through my morning routine.
Leaving home, I am fresh and clean,
But callous and unfeeling.
I love Him not.
Wind swirls the leaves, begging my attention.
He whispers in my ears, "Love me. Please."
Sun filters through crocheted lace leaves--
Dances in brilliant motion.
He loves me.
My life's in focus and my goals in view.
I busy myself with work and things,
Ignoring all the joy He brings--
His love seen as nothing new.
I love Him not.
He is untiring, always persistent
As day after day He still pursues
With hopes one day my love ensues.
He is steady and constant.
He loves me.
7 comments:
wow, i really like it kristin. This one is my favorite too!
That's really good - you could put that to music.
I love it Kristin! It reminds me of flower petals, falling tragically to the ground.
I'm glad you all like it :) And I'm assuming that means you understood it, so I will not elaborate any further. Although, I will say :) that it was most definitely influenced by the thought of daisies.
Very fascinating inspiration--daisies. I really like it too. But I would suggest that maybe you add another stanza or so because right now you're ending with the fact that you don't love Him...unless you want it to end that way for dramatic effect, which works as well. :)
The reason I ended with God loving me is because I wanted to do two things:
1)Show that God's love is final. Despite my neglect of Him, or my failure to return His love completely by my daily actions, He loves me.
2)It was not necessarily just about me. My point was that so often we say that we love God, but our actions and acknowledgment of His love don't always correspond. The next stanza is really up to you. Will you respond to His love? Will you start living love for Him?
ahh i love it kristin--how the ending is up to the reader! it's wonderful. ouch...my cat is kneading my leg...
Post a Comment