In a recent post, I mentioned that there was a swarm of fruit flies co-inhabiting the Parker's house (mainly the kitchen) with Kelsey and me. I tried the fly swatter and the veggie wash spray, but to no avail. I thought I was out of ideas.
Then Kelsey came home last night. Both of us were exhausted from work and were highly irritated at the flies. Kelsey had a new idea. Forget fly swatters, why try those when you have dish towels? And thus began our violent killing spree. Who would have thought that Kelsey and I would in any life be considered heartless murderers?
After some time of violently thrashing dish towels at cupboards, the sink, the trash can lid, doorframes, walls and the air around us, we had managed to diminish the swarm to a mere horde. It was, I'm sure, a sight to behold. Had anyone happened upon us, I'm positive they would have considered us quite mad.
This morning and afternoon had been much more bearable with the flies, yet their presence was still quite noticeable. I decided to vacuum the living room, and as I was using the cleaning tools to rid the windowsill of cobwebs and other such things, I had a brilliant idea.
Very quietly I sneaked up to the trash can where a gathering of flies was perched contentedly upon the lid. With vacuum cleaner hose in hand, I paused before hitting the power button. Would they scatter at the noise of the vacuum?
I readied myself in a stance of attack, hit the button, and began to suck up as many little fruit flies as I could. I moved throughout the kitchen, scouring it for the rebel bands. Much to my surprise, the little flies did not fly madly about at the noise of the vacuum. From this, I have drawn two possible conclusions:
1. Fruit flies are deaf.
2. Fruit flies are not well acquainted with the rumblings of a vacuum cleaner and thus did not suspect that its roar was sounding their demise.
After my rampage, the kitchen is much more still and less black-speckled. By no means have I completely rid it of all the fruit flies, but I would definitely have to say that the number of fruit flies in the kitchen is quite possibly countable now.
When Kelsey comes home, I shall inform her of my victories and possibly plan another attack at a later hour. The age of the fruit fly soon shall pass.
*Closing note for Thomson: I attempted your stunt with blowing at the flies, but found that at the time there was only one fruit fly buzzing about my face and a small congregation of flies already perched on the edge of my computer screen. It was amusing nonetheless.
Edit: Kelsey came home and I shared my success. She tried it too. She said it was quite satisfying to suck up the little insects. Then she proceeded to vacuum up cobwebs, pregnant spiders, and other such creatures lurking about the house.
Then she decided to try one more thing.
"Kristin, do you think we could use this on the hornet's nest on the porch?"
"I don't know, Kelsey..."
She tried. The first time, she almost got two of them, but then got scared (understandably so) and we both ran inside the house behind the screen door, abandoning the vacuum cleaner that was still running on the porch.
We decided to try again, and this time I decided I would have her back. If it looked like they were escaping, I would smash them with a broom.
Unfortunately, the hornets clung to their nest for dear life, and Kelsey and I decided to give up. They are safe for another day.