Song of Solomon 8:4

My heart is a piece of glass—
Delicate, exquisitely hand-crafted.

I am
All too willing
To place it in your hands.

It’s been held before, this heart of glass,
And it’s been shattered too.
Once smashed on a careless whim,
Once broken by an untimely end.

It’s mended now—
(Or mostly so)
The jagged scars can still be seen,
And some shards were never found,
But it is mostly whole.

And now, I am
All too eager
To place it in your hands.

But you could
Break my heart;
It has been done before.

So instead
I’ll place it in my Maker’s hands,
And I will wait on Him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've placed myself in quite the predicament. You see, I've decided that I don't ever want to initiate anything when it comes to romantic relationships; I want to be pursued. Unfortunately, my desire to be pursued stands a great chance of being ousted by my impatience and my fear of allowing opportunity to pass me by. But God is helping me learn that not all opportunities should be taken.

Like many girls, I'm all too ready and willing to give away my heart. I keep trying to place my heart in God's hands to give to whomever He chooses when the time is right. I keep trying to repeat to myself Song of Solomon 8:4-- "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

This has become one of my daily struggles: to dampen the desire to love and be loved that God has placed in my heart, because it is not time. And to trust that God will fulfill that desire in His time.

It is much easier to say that I trust God than to live my trust in God.