Inspiration

You view the world
Through innocent eyes—
Eyes that see
The good in all.

Yet you are blind to
Your own virtue.

You feel for others
With a pure heart;
Your compassion
Moves me.

Yet you are content
With so little love.

You esteem so many,
Yet don’t perceive
The respect
Reflected in my eyes.

So readily inspired,
Unaware the inspiration you provide.

Feeling... Loved?

Just a quick note for amusement:

On my drive home today, I only had two brief strange encounters. And they were not life-threatening.

While driving merrily on my way, I looked at a car I was about to pass and noticed a small child's arm hanging out the window. As I drove up next to them to pass them, the little boy (probably about 6 or 7) in the car stuck almost his entire upper body out the window and started waving frantically at me with a huge grin on his face. So of course, I smiled and waved back. How nice of him.

I made it home at about 1:15 in the morning and had already gotten one of my bags out to take inside. I had to park on the other side of the street from my house, and as I was getting ready to cross the road, I noticed a car coming. So I waited patiently for them to pass. As they passed me by, I heard one of them call out the window, "I love you!"

Hmmm... Well, what else is there to do at 1 AM but call out the window at random people that you love them. That would definitely be my activity of choice.

Paradox

Sunshine is never so bright
As her smile,
Nor storm cloud as dark
As her eyes—

She lives the extremes.

As open
As a prairie field,
Yet closed
To the world—

A revolving door that never stops.

Bold and confident
In a crowd,
Diffidently silent
Alone.

She is
The harmony and melody at once.

Puzzle

With time and concentration,
I put together pieces—
An attempt
To create a picture.

Silent, not distant;
Pensive, genuine, considerate.

With no box top to view,
No direct explanation,
I assemble
An uncertain image.

Shy, not insecure;
Mischievous, clever, candid.

A whole begins to take shape,
But with all my pieces in place,
I’m still left
With mostly empty spaces.

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Three posts in one night is crazy, I know. But I'm not sure when I'll get another chance for a little while and I felt like I needed to unload my thoughts. Although, there are still plenty tossing about in my mind.

Matt and Beth-Anne's wedding was wonderful. Everything was beautiful, things went smoothly, and the ceremony was so special. I don't think there could have been any doubt in anyone's mind that God is at the very core of their marriage and has been through their whole relationship. I love them so much, and I couldn't be happier for them.

I had one of the most awful feelings today. When I got back to Tennessee, I decided to stop by the post office. As I got out of my car and looked around me, I had this horribly indescribable sinking feeling and I sighed. I was back. And it has never felt less like home.

It doesn't really make sense, but I felt more at home up in Pennsylvania this weekend than I feel in Tennessee right now. I know, it sounds ridiculous; I've never been there before, and I was only there for a short while, but I think that being around so many people that I have been missing so much made me feel at home again. And I hated leaving.

Recently, I've been feeling more and more that home is not a place. Sure, I have my home in Virginia where my family is, but to be completely honest, it only feels like home because my family is there. I think that's why we can be homesick for heaven even though we've never been there. Because our home is not in this sin-filled world, but with God-- in His presence. And even though we've never been to heaven, we have been in God's presence. In a limited, not face-to-face kind of way, we can experience God's presence in our lives here, and it makes me want so desperately to be at home with Him and to be able to see him face to face.

I'm beginning to realize that home really is where the heart is. And right now, I feel like my heart is being torn. Within the past year or two, I've come to love my friends and family more deeply than I ever have before, and lately I've felt like I keep leaving little pieces of my heart strewn about as the people I love go their separate ways. I don't know why, but I feel such a sense of loss right now. And I can't help but feel that things will never be the same as everyone parts ways.

A lot of my friends are going to different places around the world. Some will stay where they are, and my family will still be where they are now, but I'm leaving. I can't help but feel that I'm going to be so far from home, not only literally, but also in the sense that I will be far from the ones I love, the ones my heart is with. I know that I'll be coming back, that it's only temporary. But I'm seriously beginning to have some doubts about whether or not I'll be able to handle it.

I know God is calling me. I know that I want to go. But I feel that I'm lacking strength. Please pray for me. I need it.

I Am

Like lightning,
You pierce the sky
Of my soul—

A brilliant flash
To leave me breathless,
Awestruck.

Once again
You’ve proved
Your supremacy—

A split-second revelation
Of authority and
Reassurance.

And as lightning,
You become
Visible to me—

A fleeting tangibility
To remind me that
You Are.

The Great Commission

I think it's been quite a while since I've had as much time to reflect on things as I have the last couple of days. Perhaps that's good and perhaps not. I don't know. Unfortunately, reflection has not made anything clearer. In fact, it may have just further muddied the water. I feel stuck.

Meanwhile, I think all this reflection did help me to overcome some writer's block. I ended up writing three poems and a short thought on the trip back to TN today. So I thought I'd post some of them. I'm still not sure about one of the poems though, so I won't post it just yet. Anyway, here's the thought and the first poem:

When I think about the word commission, my first thoughts are of a command being given—an order, a charge.

Today as I was reading a little bit about the Great Commission and how it is equivalent to our marching orders from Christ, I had a new thought concerning the word commission.

I was writing a poem, and while I was typing the word commission, I noticed something. Have you ever noticed that the word commission looks suspiciously like co-mission? I hadn’t before today.

As I took notice of the striking similarity between the two, I thought that it seemed very fitting to me. By giving us the Great Commission, Christ was inviting us to become a part of his mission, the work that he began in coming to this Earth. He didn’t just give us our marching orders and send us off unaccompanied, he didn’t just command us to go; but like a king who charges out to battle at the front of the lines, he calls us to follow his example and join together with him in a co-mission against the lies and injustice of the Father of Evil.

Promises (The Great Commission)

Kill this temporary flesh,
But see if I don’t
Raise to immortality
In three days.

I will come back
For you, my love.
So spread the news
Through all the world.

But remember this:
Just as Satan’s shackles
Could not hold me in the ground,

Your apathy
Will not keep me
Parted from my Beloved.


I’m still not completely satisfied with this poem. I think there’s a big gap between the first two stanzas, and the second stanza is a little weak. I wanted to show that the Great Commission is an invitation to join Christ’s cause, but that God’s promises are not dependent upon our actions or cooperation. Anyway, I’m still unsure of the whole poem. Suggestions are more than welcome.

Weddings

Like most of our community of friends, I am EXTREMELY excited that Matt and Beth-Anne's wedding is in just a few short days! I can't wait. And I finally got to talk to Beth-Anne!! That made my day. Not to mention the fact that today I felt like super nurse at work. God is amazing and I really feel that my prayers from this morning before work were answered.

Anyway, I decided that I would post the link to the wedding pictures from my brother's wedding that happened a little over a week ago. I don't actually have any of the pictures yet, but I thought that this way, anyone who cared to see the pictures could. Just a warning: there are literally hundreds of pictures. So, happy browsing for those who care.

Kevin and Kanella's Wedding
Login: KenyonThomas2

Even at Shechem

God's amazing. In the very recent past, I'd been rather irritated with myself and my personal failings. I get discouraged when I don't succeed as well as I would like to.

Point in case: yesterday I worked at the hospital. Everyone else had 5 patients, and I was the lucky nurse who ended up with 6. This is not a horrible problem because I have been able to take care of 6 patients before. But yesterday was absolutely insane and there were several times when other nurses had to come to my rescue and do something for me, like give a few medications or hang blood. It was very frustrating to me and I honestly felt like somewhat of a failure as a nurse.

Sometimes I feel like a spiritual failure as well. God, why do I keep getting stuck in the same mud puddles over and over? Sometimes I get discouraged and wonder if I will ever be where God wants me spiritually.

Thankfully, God knows exactly what I need, and this morning's worship was just it. I thought I would share a few quotes* from worship this morning. The things I read this morning really helped me to refocus and encouraged me.

"The hope lies not in the deviations but in the vision, the plan, and the ability to get back on track."

"You cannot stay where you are, and go with God... You cannot follow God and remain in the same place."

"This place (Shechem) where Jacob's family nearly failed is linked with rich spiritual imagery and decision... We can make decisions for God even at Shechem. The place of near failure can be the site of new resolve no matter how off track your family has gone."

"The God of Jacob is preeminently the God of the second chance to the Christian who has failed persistently... even failure can be a stepping stone to new victories. God wastes nothing, not even failure."

*All of these were taken from Wrestling With Angels: In the Grip of Jacob's God by Larry L. Lichtenwalter.

Brave

The scripture reading today was Philippians 1:4-6. Kelsey and I had a really good substantial conversation this afternoon, and I'm afraid it has stirred up my thoughts sort of like a wading foot stirs up mud in still, clear water.

In any case, I started thinking more about Philippians 1:6 and its relation to myself: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

I wonder if God knew what He was getting Himself into in promising to continue working on me until the day of Christ's coming. That's silly. Of course He did. Man, God's awfully brave.

On Our Side

I find it interesting that often the things that we are most afraid of, or the most reluctant to do, end up being some of the biggest blessings. At least, I've found this to be the case for me.

This summer, since I was going to be down in Tennessee, I offered to help with the kids' Sabbath School program at North River. It's something I had wanted to help out with for a long time, but for various reasons, hadn't. Oddly enough, even though I wanted to help with it, I was very hesitant and scared.

What if the kids don't like me? I don't think I can tell the stories as well as others might be able to... God, I don't know about this... what have I gotten myself into?

I don't know why I worry so much, although, God is helping me. Anyway, Sabbath school has turned out to be a big blessing for me. And I can see that God is using me, which makes it even more worthwhile.

A few weeks back, I went up to the Sabbath school room, and there were no kids. At first, I was relieved because it meant that I didn't have to be nervous about anything. Then, Terry walked in the door.

Terry is an 11 or 12 year old girl who has grown up in downtown Chattanooga. She started coming to North River when the church had an Evangelistic Seminar and Kid's Evangelistic Program a little more than a year ago. Most of the kids who came to the meetings were from bad home situations. It was really challenging to work with them because they rarely sat still, frequently got into physical fights with each other, and were just in general a little out of control.

At one point during the Kid's Program last year, there was a lot of debate over whether or not to ban some of the kids from coming back because they just couldn't be controlled and things had gotten a little out of hand. After much prayer, pleading, some re-organization, and a lot of God's help, we were able to finish out the program without banning any of the kids.

Like I said, Terry was one of the kids who first started coming to North River for the Kid's Evangelistic Program. To be completely honest, she was actually one of the worst of the kids behaviorally. She would constantly be hitting others, threatening them, and causing strife.

When she came into the Sabbath school room, she sat down and we talked for a little bit. Then she asked if we could color, and I said, "Sure, why not."

We were coloring and she started talking to me about what was going on in her life. After a few minutes, she looked up at me and said, "It's so nice to have someone who listens to me. I don't really have any friends who listen."

We must have talked for a good half hour. I was able to talk to her about dating, God, and some other life stuff, and it was a really good conversation. We also sang a couple songs while we colored. Then I realized what time it was.

"Do you mind if I tell you the story for this week while we finish coloring?"

"Sure."

The lesson that week was on Elisha making the axehead float and how God blinded the Aramean army and sent His army to protect Elisha and his servant (2 Kings 6). I told her about Elisha's servant being scared because the Aramean army had surrounded the city they were staying in, and how Elisha told him "Don't be afraid... Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." I told her about God opening the servant's eyes so that he saw the armies of God, the chariots of fire, surrounding them with protection. I finished telling the rest of the story- that because the King of Israel listened to Elisha's advice and fed the enemy and set them free, they stopped raiding Israel, and that God has ways to sort out our problems and fight our battles for us that are better than our own solutions.

"Man. I wish God was on my side like that. I wish he would help me fight my battles," she said as she looked up at me from her picture.

I know the Holy Spirit must have helped me out because I didn't know how to respond to that. I haven't often gotten such an open invitation to share about God. I told her that God desperately wants to fight for her, to work things out for her. I told her I knew this because I had seen God fight battles for me; I had seen God work in my life.

"Like when?" she asked.

So I told her a few stories of how God had intervened in my life, mostly recent stories from this summer. Then we prayed together and she went downstairs to the sanctuary while I put away the coloring things.

As I was putting things away, I prayed and thanked God for the amazing opportunity I had just had to share. It was a huge blessing for me. I began to think about Terry and how much she had changed in just one year. She comes to church regularly, doesn't hit or terrorize other kids, and now she's openly stating that she wants God to be on her side. I was truly in awe at the power of God and the Holy Spirit.

You know, Terry was one of the kids that was supposed to be banned from coming back to the meetings. I can't help but think, What if she had been banned? We were willing to give her up as a lost cause because she was too far gone for us to reach. I'm glad that God's arm is never too short, and that He doesn't give up on even the toughest of souls.

I guess Terry's wish was answered even before she asked: God's already on her side.

Oh Me...

I oriented on the orthopedic floor today. It has made me oh so very thankful that I am an employee of the oncology floor. Today was absolutely insane as we discharged 5 patients and had a myriad of other challenges and grumpy people to deal with. In any case, my brain is fried and I have a headache; these two things are quite possibly connected. So as I stood in the kitchen getting ready to move to the living room, I had an interesting exchange of thought with myself out loud while on my way to read my book and my Bible.

"Oh, I still haven't had a chance to call Beth-Anne," I started walking to the dining room en route to the living room.

I turned around for no apparent reason and my eye caught a glimpse of a pen on the counter. "I need a pen!" I started for my room to get a pen (the pen on the counter would not do; I wanted a particular pen so I could mark in my book when I read).

As I walked on, I saw my vitamins in my peripheral vision. "Oh! Vitamins!" I did an immediate 90 degree turn and got my vitamins out.

I think this is the closest to ADD I have been in a long time. Then I said something that amused myself. I looked at Kelsey and said, "Oh dear. Life is short and so is my memory."

Maybe I'll blog more about the ortho floor versus the oncology floor later...

Surprise!

I can't remember when this happened... It was probably about three weeks ago, but I didn't get around to writing about it until now. This should be yet another of the more amusing posts...

A short while ago, I was taking a French class and working night shifts. This was quite challenging mainly because I never seemed to be able to find a good time to sleep. My general schedule was something like this:

5 pm: Get up and get ready for work
5:45 pm: Leave for work
6:30 pm - 7 am: Work
7:45 am: Get home and take quick power nap
8:15 am: Wake up and get ready for class
8:50 am: Leave for class
9 - 11:30 am: Class
12 pm: Eat
1 pm: Sleep until 5 pm (if I was going to work again that night)
If I wasn't going to work again, I would try to stay up until later that night so I could get back on a day schedule.

As you can see, there wasn't a whole lot of time for sleep. One day, the inevitable happened: my body boycotted my schedule and refused to wake up for my alarm clock. Unfortunately, this meant that I slept through class! I've never done that before...

I woke up at about 12:15 pm, and after getting over the initial shock of sleeping through my entire class, I called Ansley. I explained what happened and asked if there was any way that she could bring me notes from class because we had a test the next day. She agreed and said she would be over at 2 pm.

Still in my scrubs from the night before, I decided to work on some homework and such in the living room. A little bit before 2 o'clock I heard the garage door opening and then the door from the garage into the kitchen opened as well.

That's odd. Ansley doesn't know the combination to the garage. And Kelsey is at work today.

I got up and walked toward the kitchen to see how Ansley had managed to get in. Much to my astonishment there was a guy standing in the kitchen! I was more than slightly startled, especially because I didn't have any idea who he was. I think I may have jumped a little and possibly let a small gasp escape.

The intruder also looked startled.

At this point I would like to say that I was not only startled, but slightly embarrassed. Not only was I wearing my scrubs from the previous night, I was also in my glasses and hadn't brushed my fuzzy morning hair. I comfort myself with the thought that I will most likely never see him again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone would be here. Dr. Parker left a book here for me," he stumbled through an apology.

"Oh, that's alright. I was just a little surprised. Who are you?"

He went on to explain that he was one of Dr. Parker's theology students and that he had been in South Carolina with the group doing evangelistic seminars. He had come back to see his sister's graduation and Dr. Parker had left a book in the living room for him.

I helped him find the book, and he went on his way. And that is the tale of my surprise visitor. This summer has been full of amusing incidences, and I am sure there are more to come... There will be another one quite soon, although Kelsey has already posted a blog about it. I'm just planning to post my side of the story...

Random...

Maybe this will amuse you all as much as it amused me.

Today at work, one of the ladies that works in housekeeping asked me a funny question. I was in the locker room because I had just finished lunch and had just hung up the phone from talking to my mother. She looked at me and said, "Sweetie, do you know that you have black features?"

I laughed. Hard. "You mean my lips?"

This was not the first time that I had gotten a comment like hers. Once in high school at SVA, one of my friends asked me if I was mixed. I laughed at her too.

She went on to tell me that from the first day she saw me working she thought that I had black features and wanted to ask me if I was part black, but she was afraid she would offend me. Not sure why I would be offended... but whatever.

Anyway, it all makes me laugh because I am just about as white as they come.

Meanwhile, I'm a little nervous. I talked to my work supervisor today about the fact that I can't afford to keep living down here if I'm only going to be able to work one shift a week. She said she was going to recommend me to two other floors. One is a med-surg that gets a lot of trauma step-down patients and the other is an orthopedic floor. Both of these intimidate me. I hope I can handle it...

I guess I just need to remind myself that God will get me through. And that He will help me be able to handle it. But it still scares me a little....


*Edit: One of the nurse managers on another floor called me this morning. I get one day of orientation on Thursday and then I'm going to start working some nights. *Sigh* It really kills me to work days and nights. Oh well. God will just have to keep me running, and He's done it plenty of times recently, so I should have nothing to fear.

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." ~Psalm 28:7

Nighttime Adventure

I worked night shifts Tuesday and Wednesday, slept some Thursday morning and began to drive home Thursday evening. I was planning to be home late-- around 1:30 or 2 am. Little did I know what awaited me. I find it ironic that as I was driving, making good time, I thought to myself, Wow, I'm surprised; usually by now I've come across something odd, or something crazy has happened. Because the drive home for me is almost never uneventful...

I was getting off the phone with Emily as I noticed that there was a small host of red brake lights.

Oh, man. It looks like there was an accident.

Sure enough, there was an accident. And it was very recent. I came to a stop and watched as the police cars kept filtering in one at a time with their flashing blue lights. Eventually a fire truck came and parked next to me (I was very near to the accident, there were only about 6 cars in front of me).

I sat there for nearly an hour before a firefighter came to my window and said, "You might want to turn off your car and save some gas. It's gonna be a while."

"Like how long do you think?"

"About 2-3 hours probably."

Oh dear. At the time, I was less worried about the delay this would cause me and more worried about the fact that I'd been needing to use a bathroom for the last hour. Why did I decide that drinking lots of water on a long trip was a good idea?

I got out of the car to assess the situation. I was in the middle lane. On the left, there was a guardrail and a bit of a grassy ditch between I-81 North and I-81 South. On the right side, there was a cement ditch, a fence with barbed wire across the top and tall grass on the other side, and a small service road. There was also a little house across the service road.

I called my mother for some advice because I wasn't so sure about climbing the barbed wire fence (especially since there was a cop car on the other side and I was afraid of getting "talked to"). After talking to her for a while, I decided I'd take my chances.

With purse in tow and special climbing flip flops on, I jumped the ditch and began to climb. My first thought was: If this barbed wire cuts me, they're going to have to take me to the hospital and give me a tetanus shot. Very shortly after this, I thought: I hope there aren't any snakes in the tall grass I'm about to jump into. Not sure why, but for some reason, I really felt a little bit like a criminal as I climbed a barbed wire fence in the middle of the night.

I made it over and crossed the road with no problems (and no snakes or cuts). I ran down the small hill and up to the house. Now, lest you think me completely reckless, I will say something in my defense. I looked around the porch and observed the following things: a porch swing with a quilt on it, potted plants, and a flower bush growing on the trellis. After noting these things, I decided that the house was probably safe and knocked on the door.

No one came, but I noticed lights on at the back of the house. I trekked around the house and just as I began to ascend the stairs of the deck, I found myself face to face with a large dog. Needless to say, I was more than slightly startled. It walked quietly over toward me, as I prayed that it would not bark or bite. I started petting it and went and knocked on the door.

A man and his mother came to the door, looking a little bit scared (it was 10:30 at night after all and there was a stranger pounding on their door), and as I explained my plight and asked if I could use their restroom, the woman said, "Are you alone? You don't have any guns do you?"

"Um, yes. I'm alone, and no, no guns. I just need to use a restroom really badly."

"Do you know how dangerous this is?"

"Yes, but I prayed before I knocked," I said while laughing.

She led me in and let me use the restroom. When I came out, I was talking to her about the accident and I told her about climbing the fence and her dog scaring me. Then she told me, "I was just telling my son that it's a wonder you didn't get bit!"

"Oh. Really?"

Hmm. I guess my angels were working overtime. We parted ways as I thanked her profusely and she gave me multiple admonitions to be careful and lock my doors when I got back to my car.

I walked back across the service road and climbed the fence (nearly ripping my shorts). Unfortunately I hadn't thought about where I was going to land once I got over the fence because the cement ditch was right next to the fence... So as you can probably imagine, my second trip over the fence was not quite as graceful as the first.

When I got back to my car, I locked my doors, laid back my seat, and decided to take a nap. But alas, the flashing blue lights were reflecting on my windshield, especially now that another police car had parked right in front of and to the right of me. I finally managed to sleep for about 30 minutes and very confusedly awoke to the sound of my alarm and a policeman knocking on the passenger side window to tell me that we would be moving again soon.

Thankfully, I made it home by about 4:30 with only one other slightly odd observation. At one point, there was a truck in front of me, and I was quite surprised to realize that there were people staring back at me from the bed of the truck. I guess I've just never seen people riding in the back of a truck on the interstate... I mean, on dirt roads, yes. But on the interstate? Anyway, it was slightly disconcerting because they kept staring back at me.

So there is my nighttime adventure for this trip. I hope you were entertained

Memories Forgotten

I have really been in the mood to write lately. You couldn't tell by the volume of posts recently, could you? Anyway, I wrote this poem two ways, and I couldn't decide which I liked better. They're the same to begin with, but the endings are different. Anyway, I thought I would post both. And I'm working on, well I have an idea of what I want to do for the second prompt Kayla gave me. So... be looking for that in the future :)

Memories Forgotten

I search the frozen faces
And see smiles of laughter,
Eyes full of joy.

These pictures breathe contentment.

I close my eyes and reminisce,
Thinking back on memories forgotten,
And I smile.

Those were happy times.

Lost in thought, I wonder,
Do my eyes still dance with laughter,
Still convey contentment?

I am still content with life;
Is that the picture I project?


Memories Forgotten (take 2)

I search the frozen faces
And see smiles of laughter,
Eyes full of joy.

These pictures breathe contentment.

I close my eyes and reminisce,
Thinking back on times together,
And I smile.

Those were happy times.

Lost in thought, I wonder
If you still remember that joy,
Still recall those times.

Or are they simply memories forgotten?

Bye Bye Birdie

This morning as I was doing my devotions in the living room, I heard a loud thump and looked up just in time to see a bird fall to the ground after flying into the window. I quickly ran outside to see if it was alright.

It was alive and just sitting next to a bush where it had fallen. I reached out to see if it would fly away, but it just sat there silently. I pet it for a bit and then picked it up to take it inside. Did you know that if you look in a bird's mouth you can see its vocal chords? Well, you can. And its little vocal chords were moving, but there were no sounds coming out.

I took it inside and made a little makeshift nest in a box. Then I called my mother. My grandma and my mom both have quite a bit of experience with raising baby birds that have fallen out of their nests (some of you may remember Einstein, who actually turned out to be a female...). In fact, they're raising one right now that they have named CeCe (which is apparently the ugliest baby bird they've ever seen and they're not sure what it is).

Anyway, I called her and asked her opinion on what to do. She wisely told me that it would probably be best to try to drip some water in its mouth and then take it outside and sit with it because it was probably just stunned and would fly away in a few minutes. We talked for a bit longer and then I decided to take her advice. I went to the box to get the little bird out, but when I reached in to pick it up, it chirped and flew away! Inside the house!

It flew all over and each time it ran into a cupboard or wall, I would cringe as I tried to think of how I could help it find its way out. I spent the next 30 minutes or so attempting to catch it or coax it out of one of the doors (I had turned off all the lights and opened every door) without giving it a heart attack. Ironically enough, I didn't catch it until it flew into a window and was momentarily stunned. I took it outside as quickly as possible and it anxiously flew away.

In the aftermath of this exciting event, I saw a very interesting parallel. Countless times, we run into obstacles in life that knock the wind out of us. We sit there stunned as God reaches out to hold us and help us. But once we finally recover from the shock of life gone wrong, we try to fly from the hand that wishes only to help us. We refuse his aid and often hurt ourselves more in the process of trying to find our way.

Got Muscle?

It's times like these that I seriously consider the benefits of weight-lifting on a regular basis.

The first reason is because yesterday at work I had a patient who was well over 400 pounds. It took 3 nurses, a nurse tech, and the transporter to transfer him to a stretcher to go down to x-ray because he couldn't move much by himself. Later on in the day when I walked into his room by myself, his mother said, "He needs to be moved up in bed." I'm afraid I may have given her a look that said "you are absolutely crazy if you think that I can move this man up in bed by myself." I hope I didn't... I tried to tell her with as little irritation as possible that I could try to get some people to help re-situate him. I asked Jessica to come help me, and between the two of us, I think we may have pulled him up a couple of centimeters.

The second reason I've decided that weight-lifting might not be such a bad idea has to do with today's activities. I decided that I was going to mow the lawn. I got out the riding mower and tried to figure out how it worked. You see, my only previous experience with riding mowers is sitting on my grandfather's lap while he mowed the lawn when I was probably about 6 or 7 years old.

However, I learn fast and it's apparently not that difficult to use a riding mower. As I was getting started, I thought "Kelsey just used this the other day. I wonder if there's enough gas." I brushed the thought away and continued mowing. A short while later, the mower shut off. The truly unfortunate thing is that it stopped at the very bottom of the slightly steep hill of the front yard. I attempted to push it in neutral and got about 2 feet before realizing that there was no way on earth that I would be able to push this mower that probably weighs much more than I do up the long steep hill. I went to plan B. I pushed the mower over under a tree and prayed that no one would bother it.

I found the gas can in the shed and much to my dismay, it was empty. I got in the car, took the gas can to the local gas station, drove back and got started again. I was feeling pretty good about life when the mower decided to cut off yet again. Thankfully, I was near the top of the hill this time, but I still had to push the mower up a slight incline. I think I must have pushed it for a good 20-30 minutes before I got it onto some level ground a few yards away to check the oil. Sure enough, I needed to add some oil.

I checked the shed, the garage, and anywhere else I could think to look for some oil, but found none. I grabbed my keys again and headed off to Wal-Mart. When I got back, I added the oil and tried to start it again. No luck. I adjusted the throttle and the choke and tried again. Hurrah! It worked. I finished the lawn, except for a few areas where I was planning to use a weed-eater.

Due to the inadequacies and general ridiculousness of the electric weed-eater, I ended up knocking on the neighbor's door (a landscaper for Southern whom I had not ever met before) and asking for help. He very kindly offered to get a gas weed-eater for me and bring it up. I went back to the house to wait.

After a while, I heard buzzing outside and realized that he was weed-eating for me! I just thought he was going to let me borrow one... Anyway, I thanked him a great number of times and gave him cookies that I had made.

After all that, I feel very satisfied with having mowed the front lawn. However, I ended up with some bruises on my legs from trying to keep the mower from rolling down the front lawn while pushing it, and my arms are slightly sore.

As I said before, it's times like these that I very seriously consider the benefits of weight-lifting. I was feeling slightly weak and helpless. Although, there is an alternative to weight-lifting to solve my problem...

Enchanted

Kayla gave me a prompt to write a poem with a reference to a fairy tale.

Enchanted

The moonlight must have enchanted you,
Because you were captivated.

Your eyes sparkled
With sheer delight
When you looked into mine.

Your laughter danced
With amusement
At the words that I spoke.

The moonlight must have enchanted you,
Because in the morning, the glass slipper didn’t fit.

Prison Walls

Within my walls
I have held many faces
Of haunted men
In dark places.

Their hearts as hollow
As my empty cage
That binds their souls
Full of violent rage.

Through my bars
Shines piercing light
To banish darkness
Of deepest night.

Likewise will Light
Pierce the black
Of their souls
As my confining walls crack.